I went to lunch with a friend yesterday which opened my eyes a little. Before going we had the normal volley of email asking "where do you want to go?" "I don't know, where do you want to go?" "Where can we go now that you are on a diet?" Hit the brakes sister, what did you say? Now that I am on a diet? I just let it pass and realized she still didn't get it even though we had been talking about her joining Weight Watchers as well. We decide on Wendy's. Cool, I can work with that. I look up the website and figure out how many points everything is and get my game plan together. Luckily fries are not my weak point and I can pass them up. I would rather have a baked potato any day but even that I can forego. Grilled chicken sandwich light on the honey mustard, 9 points; side salad, 0 points; pomegranate vinaigrett 1 point (I only used half the pack). My whole lunch for 10 points I can do this with my eyes closed. I was making sure that I saved my points for dinner since I was already planning on having pizza with my husband.
We sit down to eat. I put my dressing on my salad and she assembles her apple, chicken, pecan salad. I give her props, she did buy a salad in an effort to eat better. But what most people don't realize is that restaurant salads are often just as bad for you as any other meal. Her salad by the time she got done with it had almost as many points as a burger and fries. I am sure that her arteries fared better because of it, but her wasteline probably did not. But, the effort was there.
My point to the post is the statement that followed. She stated that I was so dedicated and doing so well on my "diet". I could tell that she is still seeing this as something you do for a short time to get some weight off and then you return to your old ways. I told her that no, this is what I have to do from now on. I am eating exactly what I want when I want it but staying within healthy guidlines. I am eating lighter at lunch because I have it planned to have pizza for dinner. If I want to spend the majority of my points on lasagna at lunch then I will do that and eat grilled fish and a salad for dinner. If I want to splurge and have a hot fudge sundae then I will and adjust some where else. I am a food addict and I am obese and these are the facts of who I am that I have to work with. My past eating habits got me here. I have to change that and I am doing so. I will have to eat this way the rest of my life not just for a while. It will probably take me 2 to 3 years to realistically get my weight off, but I am ok with that. As long as I am continuing to get healthier and that number continues to creep down then all is good.
It is funny that I find it hard to believe that she can't see the reality that I can see so clearly, but then I realize that before now I was her. I can't count the number of times I started a "diet" only to go back off of it within weeks. I never, before now, decided to change my lifestyle. For whatever reason, I am thankful that it has clicked in my brain and I pray every day that God will give me the strength that day to remain on this path and headed toward my goal.
When I tell people what I have had to eat they say to me...are you 'allowed' that. Doesn't it have too many points or that is dessert and you can't have dessert on weight watchers. I have to tell them I can eat anything I want as long as I stay within my points allowed. Now grant it, I should choose healthy things to eat over non healthy stuff but if I want occasionally to have a candy bar or cookie I can do that. Why do people not understand that weight watchers isn't a diet, it's a change in your eating habits for the better.
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