This week I am on vacation in one of the places I love the most, the beach. My time here gives me the ability to sit, stare at the ocean, think and of course walk up and down the shoreline looking for seashells. No matter how many I pick up I am always in search of that perfect shell. I know that the perfect one will be washed up on the shore the next time I walk down the same way I have walked every day numerous times already. That is ok though, because I am getting much needed exercise and because of this I learned a much needed lesson yesterday which to my surprise was further shown to me today.
Yesterday during one of my many treks down the beach looking for that perfect shell I finally found it. It wasn't large, but it was flawless and beautiful. I waded out into the water and retrieved it and turned it over and over in my hands marveling and the details in the ridges and how all the edges were still perfect after the beating it had gone through in the ocean. While standing there a thought hit me. I am standing in ankle deep water watching as the waves wash a variety of shells one, two or three at a time in to shore. There are a lot of them that have imperfections or that are just ordinary, but once in a while we get a perfect one. That this is like learning God's word. We read and stay in His word receiving understanding and knowledge as we read, but when the time is right He gives us a big revelation of knowledge or a big direction to our path or purpose. It is a stream of knowledge washing over us like the waves with a nice shell here and there, but when the time is right He delivers that perfect shell in the surf of His word. He keeps us sharp and grounded with His word, but knows that when the time is right we will be ready to receive and understand the bigger stuff.
Later in the same day I stumble upon another shell that, while in the sand, appears to be a rare find, a snail type shell that just doesn't usually wash up and lay there too long before someone gets it. I pull it from the sand only to find out that it is really no more than the edges of the outer shell with the center of it still intact. Yep, here too was a lesson learned as I almost dropped it back into the water. I wanted it when I thought it was a perfect beautiful shell, but when I realized that it was not perfect I started to discard it. I could tell it was old and weathered and this got me to thinking. This shell is kind of like us humans. We age and are not so perfect as we get older, but hopefully the core of who we are, who God intends us to be and has directed us through His word to be will still be intact like the center of this shell. I hope to be like this when I am old as well. I don't want to be just a pretty picture and be what people think I am or what they think I should be or look like. But I want to be what I am intended to be, what God has planned and intends for me to be. I won't mind if I am weathered, but I still want my core/spirit to have been protected to the point that it is still in tact. Just like that shell, the center was protected the longest and it survived when all around it became aged, damaged and broken.
The shells were carelessly thrown in my bag and by the time I got back to the room the beautiful delicate perfect shell was broken. The beautiful edge that I was admiring while standing in the surf for it's having survived being tumbled around in the ocean could not withstand 2 hours with me. And again, God continued to teach me. Just like His word that we read and attempt to safeguard in our hearts we tend to toss it in various bags in our lives and it too gets forgotten or broken. We do not take the time and care with His word that we should. God's word should be the guide of our lives and therefore should be remembered and protected just like I should have protected this shell. The shell is forever broken, but luckily when we meander away from the path God has chosen for us, or live outside God's word that break is not forever. We can always return to God. His word is always there and it never changes. Any damage we do can always be repaired unlike my beautiful shell (although it is still beautiful even if it is imperfect like me).
Today on my walk in the surf looking for shells I got out a little further and felt a little stronger undertow than I did yesterday. I realized then that God was not quite through with my lesson and was the reason I never got to blog this last night. Again the sand, shells and ocean made me think of us and His word. That water pulling on me made me think of where I am right now and how I am feeling. When you are seeking God and you are really wanting to know what He has for your life you want to read everything you can. The word pulls at you, your church pulls at you, your friends who are walking on this path with you pull at you, God pulls at you. It is all like that undertow. Standing in that water thinking about the shells and how they make me think of being in God's word, the worn out shell and it's lesson and the undertow and how ultimately I think I was supposed to learn that through it all if you are in God's word and you are truly seeking Him you will, at the center of your soul, feel that pull. Just like the water wanted to pull me out into the ocean God wants to pull me ever deeper into His word.
Thank you God for allowing me the quiet time on the beach alone with you to learn this lesson that I truly needed to learn right now. This journey has been difficult and it is taking a path I did not imagine, but in the end I will be in a place beyond any I could imagine. I am still trusting my journey and with the help of some good friends and trusting where God is leading I will make it.
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