Helping a friend of mine get her blog up and running today reminded me that I have not paid any attention to mine in a very long time. I set the blog up to follow my weight loss journey. The journey is still moving while the blog stalled out. I plan to make every effort to correct that.
After a little over 3 months and 30 pounds gone, I am still traveling down this road. I would like to say that it is my willpower and ability to control my surroundings that have gotten me here, but it is not. God and my friends have gotten me here. I have learned during this journey that I don't have any willpower and I am not in control of anything.
A few months back I found a bracelet in a catalog that had three letters on it TYJ, which stands for Trust Your Journey. I bought one for me and one for my best friend who has recently embarked on a life changing journey that God is leading her on as well. I have worn that bracelet every day up until the Saturday night prior to Easter Sunday. Trust Your Journey has been my mantra and still is. These journeys that we are on are journeys that God is leading us on. That bracelet has been my anchor for months. When I thought I could not make it through the day I would look at that bracelet and it would give me the little boost that I needed. Last Saturday night I was going to our Saturday night Easter service which is a huge production. I was getting off the bus to go to the arena where it takes place and my bracelet got caught on the door handle of the bus and broke. At first I was a upset. This is the bracelet that has kept me grounded. What was I going to do when I needed that something to let me know I could make it through whatever was bothering me? But during the service and listening to Pastor Allen speak of Jesus dying on the cross in a way that was not only horrific but really beyond my comprehension and in a way that no human should have to die. And he did it for me. It dawned on me, I don't need that bracelet. I pray every morning for the strength to make it through today, and every night I thank God for the strength he gave me and pray He will give it to me tomorrow. This is what I truly feel has gotten me through this 3 months and has allowed me to continue on this journey where all others have failed. Why do I need a bracelet? He is everywhere around me. He is in the trees, lake and ducks I see on my walk every day. He is in the encouragement me and my WW buddy give to one another at work and at night by text message. He is in the words I get from my friend as we spend way too much time on the phone talking about everything and nothing (yes we are still 14 at heart). I don't need that object to remind me of all of these things or that I am worth enough to take care of the body He gave me.
My life has changed in so many ways since the beginning of the year and this journey. Ways that I did not realize would happen when I first started my weight loss journey. The things that I did not realize were already changing in me are far too numerous to count. Hopefully I will have the courage to put them all down in writing to hopefully help me put words to them so that I never go back to where I was. I was at a very broken and unhappy place from which I am slowly being delivered. And if putting my journey out there for others to read as some of my friends have been doing during their weight loss and other journeys and one person is touched by something I say then spilling my pain and growth from that pain is worth it.
And may my next post not be so long in coming. May God bless me and my friends and continue to lead us to the place He has prepared for us.
wow...that's what i have to sum all it up in....wow....i didn't realize you were so upset over your bracelet....to be honest...i thought you had realized you had already shifted the "what" that was grounding you into the "Who"....but maybe that wasn't mine to point out to you....I am glad to see you starting your blog up....believe me, there are people out there who need to see it...who need it to start their own journey....(just a note...God is good...like we didn't know that...anyway...I have been praying ever since I got off the phone with you, that He would move those who needed to read my blog to do so, and speak His words to them...anyway...I have already had one person msg me that said, because of God speaking to them thru my blog, they are going to return to church...so to quote someone powerful..."Yay, God"!!)....glad to have you in my life, and touched and honored to walk these journies out together....love you!
ReplyDeleteI had changed to the "who" in my mind, but that bracelet what the physical thing that I could look at daily. Much like the sobriety chip that they give out at AA, I looked to and often touched the strings of that bracelet to sort of remind myself that this is the journey I need to be on. Just felt a little lost for a bit. But then realized that it was God's hand that broke that bracelet because I didn't need it. His strength and His strength alone was enough to get me through. I am not saying that I don't have other tools that help me daily such as my journal that I write my food in to help me control my eating, but a bracelet is not the power I need and I know that. And yes, "Yay God!"
DeleteYou are just beautiful inside and out! Hugs.
ReplyDeleteThank you, and it is a blessing to have friends who are just as beautiful.
DeleteI needed to see this wish I knew you had it before!! When I saw you last we were talking about the weight loss journey and I have lost almost 30lbs myself in the last 7 weeks. I am so excited and I have read over some of your other blog posts and will have to really read them one day so I can learn a little bit more about Dora!! :) Thanks for sharing this and as Machelle said God is good and it is amazing to see him work in our lives!
ReplyDeleteI meant to put it out there when I first started it, but I did not have the strength to do so. I was afraid if others saw it that I would fail and they would see that I once again started a weight loss journey that I could not complete. But this time it is different. This time it is clicking for me. This time I am relying on God's strength to get me through one day at a time and I will not let this time fail. I am so proud of you for losing that 30 pounds. I know how difficult it is. But if we help each other out it becomes so much easier to live our lives eating healthier. I just had to realize that I must do this and there is no "diet", this will be my life. Feel free to call or text any time. Me and my friend from work text all the time to help each other stay focused and on track. Together we can do this. And yes, God is amazing and He has great plans for us both.
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