How? Why?

I have realized this weekend that I have not learned enough at Weight Watchers yet to be allowed out on my own. If I were going to an AA meeting I would be starting over at day of my sobriety. I am not making light of where I am in my journey, just sharing an observation. I have been soaring along with my weight loss without a care in the world until I have finally fall on my face. And I didn't just stumble, I have fallen hard. Everything has been ticking for me. I have gotten almost 40 pounds off and doing a great job. Then the last few weeks happened.

I don't know why or how I have gotten to where I am. I decided last week that I was starting back over with the basics. After a week of being out of control and knowing that I was going to gain I was able to get back in control on lose 1 pound over 2 weeks time. Just as I was getting my eating and more importantly my head in the right place along came a trip out of town. I have been out of town prior to this trip and was able to hold it together, able to make smart healthy decisions. Why this trip was my downfall I have no idea. It was as if I was not trying to watch or control anything about my eating. It was as if there was no WW in my life and it was just the good ole days of over indulgence and the choice of anything and everything on the menu without concequences to my health.

How is it that for 20 weeks I can do so well and have my head in the game and then so quickly toss it out as if it never existed? Why would I allow that to happen?

I owe this healthier way of life to myself. Tomorrow is a new day. I cannot change what I have done. I cannot change the fact that I am sure I will gain this week and temporarily ruin my chances at my 40 pound star. The only thing I can change is what I put in my mouth from this moment forward. I also owe it to my WW buddy at work to get my head out of my butt and find my motivation no matter where it might be trying to hide. We have made a pact with one another to get each other through this. We have to be the strength for one another to make this work.

I shall not beat myself up. I will pick up the pieces and move forward. I know what it takes to make this way of life work. This does work and it will be what I have to do for the rest of my life. I like the fact that my clothes that have not fit in years are now fitting. I like the fact that I am having to buy new clothes because everything I own is getting too small. And I really like the fact that I know deep down that every decision I make to not eat french fries or choclate cake just because they are there is another day that I will add onto my life span.

I pray that God will give me the strength tomorrow to get me through the day. Just one day at a time. I have to remember to Trust the Journey. That is what has gotten me this far and that is what will get me the rest of the way to my healthier life.