Dreams

For God speaketh once, yea twice, yet man perceiveth it not. In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falleth upon men, in slumberings upon the bed; Then he openeth the ears of men, and sealeth their instruction, (Job 33:14-16 KJV)

God gives us dreams.  Or should I say that the bible tells us that He gives us dreams and therefore I know that He does.  I see these dreams being manifest in people all around me.  I see them being lived out in the lives of my friends.  I see dreams being revealed at young ages and later in life, and it feels like everyone who is actively seeking a dream from God is receiving what they seek but me.  I pray that God reveal His purpose in my life, and have spent a good deal of time in discussion and tears with a friend over this very subject.  And now that I type this I realize just how impatient that makes me sound.  Time to God is not the same time that we live in.  Years to us is mere moments to Him.  What might feel like a lifetime to me, He feels is nothing.  And though I might feel I am sitting here begging to have a purpose revealed to me and not understanding why He is shaking His head and trying to reassure me like a child through His word because for whatever reason I am probably not ready. (I will explain all of this through my thoughts as they played out in the rest of this blog)

I read recently that all we need to realize our dreams is to have His light.  I feel that I have His light but still can't see my dream.  There are numerous accounts in the bible were men were given dreams that were larger than what they could possibly accomplish without divine intervention: Abraham, Noah, David and Joseph.  It was even reported that Michelangelo once said. "Lord, grant that I may always desire more than I can accomplish."  I want more than anything to know my purpose, to know what God wants me to do...to find my dream.  Is it that my imagination is not large enough?  Is it that I don't know enough about God's word and kingdom yet? (probably, on His timeline I am a mere child and there is no telling what wonders He may have in line for me if I can just be patient)  Am I keeping my dream from being revealed to me in some way?

The saying is true: Bad dreams come from too much worrying, and too many words come from foolish people. (Ecclesiastes 5:3 NCV)

Am I spending too much time thinking about it?  I know that God spends many years sometimes grooming people in the jobs that they are in before he reveals to them their purpose or their dreams.  Not everyone has their dream revealed to them when they are young.  Should I just continue on my path learning more about Him, spending more time with His word and making sure that I am following the path that I feel He is leading me down and eventually my dream/purpose will be revealed?  (Ding, ding, ding... Yes, you can see that I am finally getting the bigger picture as I work through my train of thought) Can I get through my whole life and never uncover my dream? I am afraid my dream is already in me and I am just to preoccupied or not aware enough to see it.  I don't want to overlook the dream or desire that God has placed on my heart.

So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For, "In just a little while, he who is coming will come and will not delay." (Hebrews 10:35-37 NIV)

And again I come back to the realization that I cannot put a time frame or stipulations on God.  When God is ready to show me my dream and/or purpose it will be in His timing.  Noah did not get his dream of building the ark until he was 500 and I don't remember him sitting and whining because God hadn't sent him a message of what his purpose on earth was.  I don't need to be impatient.  I need to be happy that God will be there to tell my dream when the time comes.  I need to spend what time I have now helping those around me with the talents I have to move forward in their dreams and pursuits.  When I know that they are following what is a truly God appointed dream and/or purpose than I should be happy to help them pursue that purpose and help them accomplish their dreams.  Maybe that is my current purpose is to help and encourage them in their dreams and through that God will show me mine.  Maybe God is trying to show me to be less ME centered and a little more God centered, a little more steward (I think that is the right word) centered.  Maybe I don't have my dream yet because someone else has to accomplish theirs to help me move into mine.  I guess what I am trying to get at and make myself understand is that I need to slow down and let God be God.  Just sit in His presence and enjoy the beautiful time I am having with Him right now and be still  When the time comes He will give me my dream/purpose.

Thank you Lord.  I know that this has been rambling as I sit here in this cold hotel room in the quiet and work through these thoughts.  I have been chewing on this for a couple of weeks now and just could not get past the whole idea that I was missing something, I was not doing something right, I was not praying the right prayer, or living correctly because God was looking me over.  Thank you for visiting me while I sit here and work through some of this and realize that You are working on me and allowing me to be still and know you are God during this wonderful time of growth with my sister from another father (I won't say mother because mine loved her like her own).  And if me helping her walk out her dream and purpose while she helps hold me together during my insane soul searching days where the tears just won't stop then I accept that.  Again, Thank You God!!!